Female, 36, utterly devoted to Peter Capaldi, The Thick of It, Stephen Fry, Have I Got News For You, Top Gear, Computer games, Computer Science and general geekery

(Master List of Fanfics) Smutty fanfiction writer.

I'm a geek by hobby and profession and once got out of a boring meeting by jamming pencils up my nose and saying 'wibble'. I love cups of tea.

My username isn't a slur and I'd be happy to furnish people with a full list of my disabilities if you need them. I just find them boring :p

 

fuckyespetercapaldi asked
(Why am I getting v naughty thoughts seeing him sat there in that chair….) FIC NOW ITS ALMOST MY. BIRTHDAY LOLOL

Only if I get gift fic on MY birthday! (23rd August). Snap to it wifey and I’ll do the same :)

omnishamblestexts:

[Images - Nicola talking to Malcolm offscreen. Malcolm smiling in the car. Peter Capaldi in epic drag]
(+61): I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser

Happy 800 followers omnishamblestexts (which has shot OVER that total now) . Love, The Management :)

omnishamblestexts:

[Images - Nicola talking to Malcolm offscreen. Malcolm smiling in the car. Peter Capaldi in epic drag]

(+61): I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser

Happy 800 followers omnishamblestexts (which has shot OVER that total now) . Love, The Management :)

Draft snippet: Ollie’s bad day

As a treat - from the work-in-progress files (so this is unedited, unfinished and un-everything) that are currently on the go I give you Ollie Reeder getting turned on by a Malcolm bollocking:

***

He knew.

Malcolm Tucker knew fucking everything. And what his eyes didn’t spot, his pet attack dog Jamie MacDonald would pick up and pass to his master.

Ollie sat on the toilet seat with his head in his hands, his heart racing. He knew one of them would be tracking him down now for more of their cheerful torture, it couldn’t be avoided. He’d handed them far too much ammo on himself this time to duck out of it.

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Mr Flibble (my Red Dwarf handpuppet on my desk)  is joined today by my plush Ebola virus.
This was brought for me by my parents 15 years ago when I graduated from university with a degree in Virology (viruses).

Mr Flibble (my Red Dwarf handpuppet on my desk)  is joined today by my plush Ebola virus.

This was brought for me by my parents 15 years ago when I graduated from university with a degree in Virology (viruses).

Question for my readers

the-crazy-geek:

I’m planning (rather casually, since I’m a bugger for missing deadlines) a sequel to ‘The Collar’ (Malcolm/Nicola/Jamie).

(It’s bloody funny to me how I always loose at least 2 followers when I post queries like this - only to get the back a week or so later when I post the resultant fic up!)

Do you lot have any ideas or preferences as to who gets the collar this time?

The votes are evenly split between Jamie and Ollie (who wasn’t in the original fic but nobody can ever accuse me of not being adaptable!) so here’s my plan:

1. A sequel to ‘The Collar’ with Jamie this time

2. A standalone fic of Ollie being dominated. Either by Malcolm, or by Sam. Not decided yet :p

omnishamblestexts:

[Image - Malcolm in trademark grey suit, with a phone in one hand and his other hand pointing out toward someone]
(203): Congratulations, you’ve begun to unfuck your life.

Still working on the 800-th follower of omnishamblestexts celebratory post of awesomeness - but still creating regular images in the interim :)

omnishamblestexts:

[Image - Malcolm in trademark grey suit, with a phone in one hand and his other hand pointing out toward someone]

(203): Congratulations, you’ve begun to unfuck your life.

Still working on the 800-th follower of omnishamblestexts celebratory post of awesomeness - but still creating regular images in the interim :)

Fic Recommendation: Top Gear Supernatural

Fic Recommendation:

Supernatural meets Top Gear

http://archiveofourown.org/works/212650

"Now, the more traditional way of getting rid of ghosts involves incantations, ancient rites, candles, and maybe some Enya, playing in the background. However, seeing as this is America, we’re going to do this the American way.”

Clarkson lifted the shotgun up into frame and cocked it.

“We’re going to shoot the ghosts in the face with salt.”

(this work needs a sequel! I crack up laughing at this so often)

Question for my readers

I’m planning (rather casually, since I’m a bugger for missing deadlines) a sequel to ‘The Collar’ (Malcolm/Nicola/Jamie).

(It’s bloody funny to me how I always loose at least 2 followers when I post queries like this - only to get the back a week or so later when I post the resultant fic up!)

Do you lot have any ideas or preferences as to who gets the collar this time?